Lovely Secrets
by Tygercat2
Summary: Jamie Reagan has been feeling dejected lately, and maybe a little lost. Suddenly, he stumbles into Anna-Beth. He doesn't know much about her, but he does know he wants to keep her safe. But what about the secrets she refuses to tell him about? What happens when she does tell him?
1. Prologue

**I don't own Blue Bloods, even if I wish that I did!**

**So I'm starting with a Prologue this time. We'll see how it goes! Just letting you know this story is about Jamie and a character of my own making.**

**Anna's POV**

The doctor left the room, and Jamie grabbed my hand. I just stared at the wall. I had been expecting this, but now that it was actually here it was different. I was dying, and leaving the man I loved. "Anna, we'll fight it. I can look for another doctor who knows more." Jamie stared going on and on about different things he could do, but I didn't listen. I had prepared myself for this every day for the last few years, if not my entire life.

"Jamie." He didn't stop talking, "Jamie stop." I grabbed his hand harder, well, at least as hard as I could. He finally looked at me, and I could see some of the hope leave his eyes. This was why I didn't want him to stay. I loved his innocence. It was amazing how he could stay innocent, even though he was a cop. Even after having his brother and mom die, he had retained some of that innocence. Seeing me die would change that. I wish he would understand that. "Jamie, I've known this has been coming for a long time. I'm prepared for this. The one thing I'm not prepared for is leaving you." A tear rolled down my face as I tried to smile.

"But what if we find some other option? The doctor said you had some other options." Jamie gripped my hand tighter, and moved his chair closer to my hospital bed.

Jamie's eyes started to water. I looked over at him, and I started to cry even more, "Jamie just stop. Those options have long been gone. They didn't work before. They won't work now. I love you, but you need to stop this. Leave, I can't do this to you." I looked away from him, and pulled my hand away. He didn't move, so I told him to leave again. He still didn't move, "Jamie leave! I don't want you here!" My voice started to shake, and I was balling by now. I had tried to leave him before for this very same reason, and was trying to force him to leave now.

Jamie got up, and I was glad he was leaving. I needed him, but I also needed for him to leave. I couldn't destroy him. "I can't do this to you Jamie. You need to leave." My voice broke half way in between, and I really wished it hadn't.

He came over, and lifted me up a little bit. He slid in beneath me, and put me on his lap. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. He just held me, and let me cry. I could feel his tears drop onto my cheeks, but that just made me cry harder. "I c-can't be strong enough for two people Jamie. I can b-barely be strong enough for myself."

"Anna-Beth, don't even go there. I will not leave you. You tried to make that decision for me before, and you didn't win then either. I'm staying here, even if you don't get better. I love you with all my heart Anna, and even if it means I will lose you, I'm going to stay with you."

My crying slowed down at that. I wanted him to leave, but I needed someone to stay with me; I needed Jamie, even if it meant destroying his innocence in the process.

**Jamie POV**

The doctor walked out of the room, and immediately I started talking about other options. I needed to stall, I needed her to think I was strong enough for the both of us.

"Jamie just stop. Jamie, I've known this has been coming for a long time. I'm prepared for this. The one thing I'm not prepared for is leaving you." A tear rolled down her cheek. I grabbed her hand, and moved my chair closer.

"But what if we find some other option? The doctor said you had some other options." I could feel a tear roll down my cheek to match hers.

"Jamie just stop. Those options have long been gone. They didn't work before. They won't work now. I love you, but you need to stop this. Leave, I can't do this to you." She was trying to convince me to leave again. She had left before, and not given me a choice on whether or not I could stay. I tracked her down, and told her I would not leave; even if it meant that her cancer was worse than before.

I got up to move towards her, but she spoke before I could do anything, "I can't do this to you Jamie. You need to leave." He voice broke, and I just wanted to hold her. I wanted to make everything all right for her. I wanted to take the cancer out of her body, and destroy it. I wished that I could be sick, instead of her; anything to make her better.

I picked her up slowly, and moved underneath her. I knew she would feel some pain with me jostling her like this, but we both needed to be near each other. I held her against my chest, and just let my tears fall with hers. I didn't say anything, knowing this would be enough. Eventually she calmed down enough to speak, "I c-can't be strong enough for two people Jamie. I can b-barely be strong enough for myself."

"Anna-Beth." I paused to make sure she knew I was serious. I only called her by her full name when I was mad at her. She made fun of me for it, "Anna-Beth, don't even go there. I will not leave you. You tried to make that decision for me before, and you didn't win then either. I'm staying here, even if you don't get better. I love you with all my heart Anna, and even if it means I will lose you, I'm going to stay with you." I held her close, and she soon fell asleep. I listened to her heart beating on the machine, and wished that sound would last forever. I couldn't lose her, it would destroy me. I knew it, but I couldn't leave her. That would hurt even more. I had to find a cure before it was too late.

******A/N: Hey all! Go look at my other stories. I haven't updated some of them in a while, but I'm going to work on editing them before I add more. You'd like them though!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chp 1**

**A/N Could anyone tell me the ages of the siblings? It's never really says in the show…thanks. If anyone does, I'll change it in the story.**

**I don't own Blue Bloods.**

**Anna POV**

I walked out of my art gallery, and headed towards my apartment. It was eight at night, and I was working unusually late. To make it even worse, it was pouring out. I had just finished my most recent painting, and was going to make a copy of it tomorrow. I make one smaller copy for me to keep, and the larger copy I sell. It helped me run my businesses, and let me run my art classes whenever I wanted to.

I decided I wasn't going to walk the whole way to my apartment. I hailed a cab and someone grabbed my arm, "That was my cab bitch," I really hated New York sometimes.

"Get off asshole." I pulled my arm away from him, but he just grabbed on harder. I was going to slap him, but someone walked up to him.

"Sir, let go of the lady now." The man was a police officer. His partner was behind him, and he was chubbier than the other one. The younger one looked no older than 26, maybe 27.

"Why should I? The bitch stole my cab. And look, it just drove away. Now I'm going to be late." He twisted my arm tighter, and I slapped him.

"Asshole, I said go away." He let go of my arm, and held his face.

"I want to press charges on the bitch." He pointed towards me, and moved as if to grab me again.

The younger officer grabbed the man's other arm. "Move towards her again, and I'll suggest for the lady to press charges. I suggest you move away." He let go of the man, and moved towards me, "Are you alright miss?"

"Yeah; I working late, and that asshole came out of nowhere." I ran my hands through my hair, "Thank you officer-"

"Reagan. But you can call me Jamie."

He reached out his hand for me to shake, and I grabbed it, "Thanks. Is there anything I can do for you two gentlemen? It's the least I could do." I really hoped the said no. I just wanted to get home and sleep. I was still exhausted from a few months ago; the last time my cancer came around. I was getting stronger, but it was taking longer than usual.

The bigger officer came over, "No Ma'am. We were just heading back to the station and saw that man was giving you a hard time. We should really get going. It's late. Do you want us to hail you a cab, miss?"

"No thank you." I could tell that Jamie wanted to linger, and I just wanted to get going. I went back to the curb, and hailed a cab. It pulled over for me, and I waved to the officers, "Thank you again officers. If you ever need anything, just come by. I'm up on the top floor." I really hoped the never did, I was just being polite. I told the cabbie where to go, and just sat back and relaxed. The past couple years had been hell. I have had cancer since I was thirteen. My brother died of it when I was fifteen. My mother had it, and my father left us. I grew up with my grandparents. When my cancer came back for the third time when I was eighteen, I ran away. I couldn't do that to my grandparents. I would have been the third person they had to watch die. My cancer is genetic, and is very rare. The doctor's aren't even sure if it is a cancer. It only affects my family, and skips a few generations every couple years.

I wasn't supposed to live past twenty-two. Now, my doctor's are just guessing. We're lucky every time my cancer goes into remission. I almost fell asleep in the cab, but it soon pulled up to my apartment. I paid the man, and nodded to the doorman. I went up to my apartment, didn't even take my clothes off, collapsed on my bed, and immediately fell asleep.

**A/N Sorry it's really short guys. I just needed to establish how Jamie and Anna meet. I'm just telling you now, pay attention to the little details in my story. If you piece them together, I'll give you more hints in each story.**


	3. Chapter 2

**I do not own Blue Bloods.**

**Anna POV**

I woke up the next morning still in my clothes. I smelled like rain, and ash. I guess some of my paintings were getting smeared. I had used ash on a few paintings to see what the texture would be like.

I thought about what I did last night. I had rearranged my studio, stored some paintings in my other studio, and then started a new piece. I was using an ashy texture for the background of this, and then splash some color on various places of it. It wasn't my most creative piece, but I was getting bored lately.

I moved around my apartment, tidying up, and moved my cats from their sleeping places, "Come on kitties, time to get up. We've got plans for the day." In reality I didn't, I was just trying to think of something to do. "Should we go to the park today? Maybe let you chase some birds?" I was watching one of my neighbor's cats, and I really needed something to do for the day. I started humming to myself, and heated up the stove. I opened up the fridge, and wished that I had gone shopping yesterday too. I looked and saw some eggs, a pepper that was going to go bad soon, and some spoiled milk. It looked like I was going to have an omelet for breakfast. I wished I had some ham. But, at least I knew what I was going to do for the day.

It took me a few minutes to clean up once I was done, but then I grabbed my keys and was out the door. I bumped into someone before I got to the elevator, "Oh sorry dearie." It was Mrs. McNealy, one of my neighbors. This was one of the best buildings in this part of the city, but with affordable rent.

"Everything ok?" We waited for the elevator together.

"Oh yes, just stretching my legs. Things get creaky in old age dear. What are you up to lately?"

"Finished a new painting, and started another one. Business has been pretty good lately. You should stop by sometime soon. I'll let you look at what I've been working on lately. By the way, how are your grandkids?"

"So nice of you to remember them. They loved the teddy bears you gave them for St. Patrick's day. Next time you go to your studio, you should bring me along. I won't stay too long. I know how you get when you work." By that time the elevator came, and we got on, "How are you eating? I noticed you haven't been to the store in the past few days."

I started laughing, and leaned down to kiss her cheek, "I'm fine Mrs. McNealy. I'm just getting to the store now. Do you need anything? I can pick you up some tea if you want. Or some scones?"

"I'm not a Brit dear. I may be old, but that doesn't mean I have to eat like I am. I want some jalapeno peppers, some jerk chicken, and some tortillas. It's Jamaica night tonight at bingo, and I promised I'd feed the girls."

I shook my head, "All right, but if you all don't eat it, don't expect me to. That stuff is way too spicy for me."

"Liar. You just don't want to eat my jerk chicken. That's all right. I won't eat your Greek cooking then." We both started laughing at that, "And make sure you get yourself some good food this time. No junk food."

"I come home with only goodies one time, and I never hear the end of it. I'm not letting you in my apartment then." The door opened, and I kissed her cheek and left.

I heard her call after me, "Don't get run over by a cab! They're crazy out there!"

I opened the door, and nodded to Paul, the doorman. He was one of the few in the building who knew I owned the building. I liked living here, and when the previous owner had jacked up the prices to try to get people to move, I bought the building at an underappreciated value. I then lowered the rents to just a little of what they had been before, and increased the quality of the building. It is now valued at two times what I bought it for.

"Would you like me to call you a cab?" Paul asked.

"No, I think I'll just walk. Has the superintendant talked to you lately? any problems with the building? any complaints?"

Paul looked at me and smiled, "No ma'am. He just keeps saying the building is in the best condition it's been in years. Whenever he needs to fix anything, he can do it himself. I'll let him know you asked though." The super didn't know I owned the building, and I would like to keep it that way. We were friendly, and I didn't want it to change.

"Have a good day Paul. I don't know what time I'll be back."

"All right miss. Be safe, and I'm glad you're feeling better." Paul was also one of the few people in the building who knew I had cancer. I was currently in remission, but that never guaranteed anything. I had a genetic disease that mimicked cancer, or at elast we think it did. My mother had died of it, and so had my older brother. It was rare for people who had this to live past twenty two. I was four months past my expiration date, and it worried me every day.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I mention different places in NY multiple times in this story. I've never been to NY, and I haven't even looked at a map. So I can guarantee you I will not put addresses, and I will get every single reference wrong.**

**I don't own Blue Bloods.**

**Anna POV**

I was on the way to the grocery store when I realized I never changed out of last night's clothes. I turned the corner, and headed over to my favorite clothing store. The people inside the store looked t me a little weird, but they had seen me do this before. I bought some casual clothes and threw my old clothes in the trash; I knew I would never get the ash stains out.

I walked over to a different grocery store, and got all the things I needed. I got in a taxi, and told him to go to my studio. I gave the food to Martha, and was going to start painting again when my phone rang. It was Samantha, my lawyer and my best friend, "Hey Sam. What's up?"

"Well we all have lunch at the same time today. We were wondering if you were too busy painting to come join us?"

I laughed, "Where are you? How long were you three there until you decided to call little old me?"

She laughed even harder, "Open the door."

I walked over to the door, and looked out the peephole. "Oh my God," I opened the door, and all three of my best friends were standing outside the door.

"It's been eight months to the day, and your cancer hasn't come back. We all thought you needed a stiff drink." They all held up two bottles of wine each. "Food is being delivered here in five minutes. So you better not say no."

I started laughing really hard and waved them all in. "Give me a minute to clean up. I've got a table in here somewhere that we can use. And I would hardly call wine a stiff drink."

Aimee spoke up, "Don't we like seeing your gallery in the state it is now. It's more….you. And considering you rarely drink, it might as well be."

I looked at her like she was crazy, "Yeah, 'cause this disorganized mess describes me. And the only reason I don't drink is because most people can drink me under the table."

Jennifer looked at me, "I've seen your house. This describes you perfectly. And we plan on drinking you under the table." We all laughed.

"Fine; but when I become a millionaire, you all are getting nothing. Then I'll hire you to come clean this place for me."

They threw their coats in various places, making sure there wasn't any paint nearby, and started looking for a corkscrew. I looked around at my paintings on the floors, and on the walls, "I think I should have an art expo. Sell some of these old things." Everyone froze, and Sam walked over towards me. She grabbed my arm, and was looking at my most recent painting. To an untrained eye, it was abstract. But to my friends, they all saw that it was a broken catheter. It looked like the one I had the last time I was in the hospital. Aimee and Jennifer came over by me. I slowly sat down, "Eight months is the longest I've gone without having to get treatment in a long time." I started sobbing, and all three of them leaned in to hug some part of my body. Sam had her arms wrapped around my stomach, and I grabbed onto her arms for dear life.

Eventually Aimee got up to go get my corkscrew when I told her where it was. They let go of me, but we all sat in a circle. We hardly talked, and only drank a bottle. Jennifer looked over at me, "We took the day off." She had a tear running down her face, but she was smiling, "We all needed to celebrate. Let's go shopping. Then we can go back to your place and drink the remaining bottles. Does that sound good?"

I nodded, and stood up. Aimee handed me a tissue, and gave me some makeup. "Go fix your mascara, its running." We all laughed; I was barely wearing any makeup at all.

By the time I got out of the bathroom they had cleaned up the glasses, and put the bottle in the recycling. I looked at them gratefully, I didn't want the wine accidentally getting on a painting. Sam squeezed my hand, and we left.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Woah! Fourth Chapter! Lately I have been really busy, so I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. Plus, I just got a job, so that'll take up more of my time. But, summer's coming soon so I can write during the day then. Just bare with me for a while! **

**I do not own Blue Bloods.**

**Anna POV**

We went shopping after that. It was a few hours later, and we were getting hungry again. Jennifer looked at me, "It's your celebration, where do you want to go for lunch?"

"I don't really care. Let's just find someplace that's not too quiet, so we don't feel uncomfortable." They all nodded, and we began to search for a place to eat.

We walked a couple blocks, and then someone ran into me. Just as I turned around to apologize, the person grabbed my arm, "Miss are you alright? I'm sorry, I should've been paying more attention."

"No it's alright." I looked at the person's face, "Jamie!"

"Oh! Now I recognize you! You were the girl in front of the warehouse the other night. You gave the other guy quite a red mark as I remember it." He smiled, and I heard Aimee giggle.

I turned around to glare at her; all the girls were watching me, "Why don't you all go on ahead? I'll meet you at the little bistro on the corner. I won't be long."

Sam leaned close to me, "Don't get in too much trouble now. I wouldn't want to come back here and have to be your lawyer." She laughed and then looked at Jamie and nodded.

He waved to them all, and then looked back to me. "Did you get home all right? That gentleman didn't trouble you again did he?"

I shook my head, "No. I'm just glad you came along, I didn't want to get into more trouble."

Jamie laughed, and I blushed. What was I doing? Was I actually flirting with someone I barely knew? "You seemed to be doing fine to me….ah, I actually never caught your name…"

I held out my hand, "Anna-Beth."

He took mine and said, "Jamie Reagan. Nice to meet you Anna-Beth."

I laughed, and said, "You can call me Anna."

"Well then, Anna would you like to get a cup of coffee sometime? I already know where I can pick you up."

I laughed again, and it felt good. I hadn't laughed this much in a long time. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the girls watching us a little further up the street. They saw I was watching them, and they quickly turned and walked to the bistro. "That's where I work, but yeah. Why not? You can pick me up there sometime this weekend. Let me give you my number, and you can call me with a time, and where we should go." I took his hand again, and wrote my number on the outside of it. "Now don't lose that."

He laughed, and I smiled again. "Can I walk you to your friends? They're still watching us, just further up the street."

I blushed, "Sorry about that. They're a little over-protective."

He smirked, and held out his arm for me to take. He really was a gentleman. I grabbed his arm, and we walked over to my friends. He took his arm back once we reached the girls, and they laughed at us. Sarah looked at Jamie, "Thanks for taking care of my friend Jamie."

Jamie nodded, "Samantha; have a nice day everyone."

I watched him walk away for a little bit, and then my friends linked their arms with mine, "What was that about?" Jen asked.

I ignored her question and turned to Sam, "How do you know him?"

"He graduated law school about four or five years ago right? I was taking the bar exam the day he finished. When I was done, I went over to talk to him. He said he changed his mind, and he was going to become a police officer. He wouldn't give me a reason though. I told him to call me if he ever needed help. We've kept in touch over the years." She was looking at me the whole time she said this, and I could tell she was holding something back. She had….sorrow in her eyes. She nodded slightly to tell me that she would tell me the rest later.

I turned back to Jen, "The other night when I was coming out of my art studio this jerk tried to twist my arm. I slapped him, and Jamie came over to help me. He saw the jerk started it, so he put him in a cab, and sent him home. I called a cab, and then I left."

Aimee piped in, "It sure looked like there was more than that."

I chuckled, "Fine, I admit it. I was tired, and offered to let him and his partner up to my studio for something warm to drink. I also told them that if the jerk called in a report, that they could find me in that building."

"So you were flirting." Jen smiled. "It's about time. It's been a couple months since you had a good fling."

Sam looked at me, "You're not going to rush this one are you? You actually like him."

We sat down at our favorite bistro, and I took a couple minutes in responding, "I'm not sure. I'm not even sure if I want a relationship right now. I mainly want to focus on the art gallery; maybe sell some things. But he is really funny."

Sam was sitting next to me, and she leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If he doesn't call you in two days, I'm telling him to call you. I still have his number you know. You should date again. It has been almost a year. Normally you start dating in half the time."

The others heard that and looked at me, "I just don't want to jinx it. What if I do start dating again and I fall for someone. Then what if I get cancer again and it kills me that time? I couldn't let another person watch me die. I hate telling you all when my cancer comes back, because I hate having to watch you see me sick."

Aimee reached over and grabbed my hand, "Well then we'd deal with that if it happened." We had helped her through her breast cancer; she knew exactly how I felt.

I looked up at her, "When it happened; not if." We all knew there was almost no chance of finding a cure for my cancer. It was a miracle I had lived this long.

We were all silent for a minute until Sam spoke up, "Now I need a drink. Then we're going to go back to your place, and finish those bottles of wine."

Jen nodded her head, "I'm glad we sent your secretary to bring all our bags to your place."

I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes. The rest of the day I couldn't get my mind of Jamie, and I couldn't cheer myself up. I really hoped this wasn't a bad omen.

**A/N So Because of the prologue, my title chapters are all messed up. But I know this is the fourth chapter. So don't be confused my lovelies! Please review!**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me months guys. Stress of college life and all that. So, I'm going to try to update at least once a month. (Hopefully I post more often, but I'm not even guaranteeing that.) I love all the favorites and such, but can you please take like 3 seconds and review? Thanks. Oh, and I'm aware that my grammar is horrible in this chapter, but it fits the chapter.**

**Anna POV**

I spent most of the next two weeks in my gallery. I hadn't officially set a date yet, but I knew I was going to have an exposition, and a private sale. I owned two and a half floors of the building for my gallery, and one of the floors would be my own work. The other floor would be a mix of artists from the city, with a few of mine thrown in as fillers. As such, my art classes were very limited on space right now. My assistant, Martha, was very busy making sure no one touched the paintings, all the other artists got along and had enough space to work, and that everyone was happy. Basically, my place was a mess.

Jamie hadn't called; at all. I checked. Multiple times a day. But I don't care. And I wouldn't admit that I did to anyone. I can get through life by myself. I'm strong enough on my own. Probably even for two people. I went into my own gallery, the half of the floor, and grabbed one of my biggest brushes and paint cans. I looked inside, blue, that would do. I looked at the wall and saw the splatter paint I did recently. If I was going to have an open exposition, I needed this to look like part of my work. I crabbed a paint roller, and quickly did one coat of cream paint over everything. You could still see some colors through it, but I hoped whatever I painted would cover them up.

I grabbed the brush, and dipped it into the paint. I started making swirls, and thinking about my life lately. I was content with the last few months. I hadn't gotten hurt, hadn't gotten in trouble, and my art gallery was booming. Then Jamie came along. Why did he have to mess it up? As I was thinking, my swirls got bigger; angrier.

Who did he think he was, to ask someone on a date, and not even bother to call? It's been two weeks, and not even a text message. Absentmindedly, I got another color of paint. I didn't even switch brushes, I just kept making different brush strokes. I grabbed another color, and another brush. A brush in both hands, I kept making swirls, and went onto another wall. I dropped one brush, and didn't even bother to pick it up. I purposefully didn't have carpet.

I walked past my stereo by the door, and turned it on as loud as it went. I painted in time with the music, and just stopped thinking. I only remembered how to breathe. How to breath, and paint. I spent hours like this, and it was very good. There's no other word for the rush of just letting go, and painting whatever comes to mind.

**Jamie POV**

I can't believe it's already been two weeks and I haven't called her. She must be furious. I get off in twenty minutes, and then I'm going over there to apologize. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I hardly listened to Scorsasie at all, and he finally realized I was preoccupied.

I wish I had run into Samantha years ago if I could've met Anna. I normally dreaded seeing her, it reminded me of when my brother died, and how I just dropped law like it meant nothing to me. It comes in handy, but I hate to think of what Joe would think of me for just quitting like that. But then again, maybe he'd be proud that I joined to force. He always used to joke that it ran in our blood anyway.

I wonder if Anna would ever have a problem with that. Would my family like her? Would she like me? We haven't been on a date yet, and still I worry about these things. Fifteen minutes.

**Anna POV**

The music's faster, and I keep painting harder and harder. My strokes have gotten longer, and paint is flying everywhere. I don't know how many colors I've used now. I abandoned the brush ages ago. I'm just using my hands now, occasionally leaving a hand print, or a finger. This seams more personal, more intimate. Maybe even more sensual.

**Jamie POV**

Four minutes until I can punch out and drive to her gallery. I hope she's there. Maybe organizing things, teaching her art class. I looked her up on the internet, and it said she did so many things. Yet, it hardly said anything about her at all. Two minutes.

**Anna POV**

I've gotten one wall fully done. There's some splatter paint still visible, but hardly enough to notice. I pause the music for a moment, and call Martha to come in my office. She responds saying she's in the reception area, and will be down in a minute. I tap my foot, feeling off balance in the silence. About five minutes later, she knocks on the door.

"Come on in." She enters, and tries not to have a reaction at my appearance.

"Have you looked in the mirror? What if one of your clients was to walk in here?" Martha knows she's the only person I put up with who tries to mother me. She's half a foot shorter than me, at 5' 5'', brown hair, and slightly chubby.

"Hmm?" I walked out the door into my office, closed the door and looked at the full-length mirror on the back of it. There was paint in my hair, all over my clothes, and little smudges on my face. My hands were covered in it. I made a mental note to let the janitors know to clean the door handles, and walked back into the little room. "Since when do I allow any of my clients on this floor? Since when do you allow people to get by you without any explanation?"

She shook her head, and I knew she knew that I was purposefully avoiding the topic of my appearance. The only time I actually talked about that was to let her know I had cancer, and even now I never told her when it came back. She always knew though, and always ordered me a batch of flowers the first day I cam back from work.

"So I was making arrangements for the exhibition. The usual suppliers are willing to do it they just need a set date. I wanted to ask you a question before I ordered the flowers though."

I spun around at that, she had never ever brought up that in front of me. She knew the timing of it, but this was new. Every time my cancer came back was different, there was never a set date for it. I gave her a questioning look, and she just acted like she didn't know what I was thinking.

"Martha, you're the only assistant that's lasted this long. Three years is new for me." We both knew I hired her after a violent bought of my cancer. The ones since then hadn't been to bad, just exhausting.

"It's a long time for me too. I'm tired of playing this game Hun." She walked over and grabbed my hand that wasn't completely covered by paint. "I'm only going to ask you this once, and then you're going to get back to your painting, and we're going to act like we never had this conversation. Is there any sign of your cancer?"

She looked straight in my eyes at that, she was the only one who could tell if I was lying. "No." I held back my tears, and she did hers.

She let go of my hand, and turned towards the door, "Good." She walked out, then walked right back in, "Before you ask, no recent calls for you. The only calls have been people confirming their tickets to the exhibition, and the artists confirming their spots. There were some squabbles between a few of them actually present today, but I got them resolved. Oh, and quit trashing all your clothes. I know you don't care about them, but it took me a long time to find someone to buy clothes for you almost monthly who had good taste."

I nodded, and then turned to music back on. I heard Martha shut the door, and I dipped my hand in the paint again. I grabbed it like a baseball, and threw it as hard as I could at the wall that was empty.

**Jamie POV**

It seemed to takes hours just to change into civilian clothes and get to my car. Everyone seemed to want to talk. Finally, I almost ran to my car. I've had to work so much overtime the past few weeks that I've never had a chance to call Anna. I really didn't want to mess this one up. Dad had noticed something was up at dinner on Sunday, and wouldn't believe my story that everything was hectic at work. Then stupid Danny had to pipe in that no street cop has to work over time, then I glared at him. I was looking into taking the detectives exam. No one would ever accept me because I was so young, but it would be good to start practicing for when I could actually take it.

DAMMIT! Why wasn't traffic moving faster? Who knows if Anna will still be there at the dinner hour? Maybe I can catch her painting? Just sit and watch her would help calm me after work. If she likes someone watching her. I hope she's not too mad at me. Five minutes until I get there. Hopefully I can get a good parking space.

**Anna POV**

I'm pretty sure I heard my phone beep a while ago, but I just leave it. I'm doing really well painting, and I don't want to loose it.

A couple hours ago someone knocked on the door to say they were leaving, but I'm not exactly sure who or when. I'm not exactly sure if what I'm doing will look good, but I just need to keep painting. I can't stop, can't leave. I feel as if I might miss something.

**Jamie POV**

I walked into her building, and looked at the directory. She was on the top two floors. I took the elevator up to her main floor, and prayed she was still there.

**Anna POV**

Swirl, line, move. Paint here, palm there. No plan, just keep moving. Can't stop.

**Jamie POV**

Finally the elevator reached her floor. This is one of the tallest buildings in this neighborhood, but nothing compared to the tallest skyscrapers downtown. I walked in, and was amazed at the walls. It seemed like there wasn't a blank space where it wasn't meant to be.

"Can I help you?" I stopped my looking, and looked at the lady at the reception desk.

"Yeah, I'm here to see Anna. What office does she work in?"

The lady laughed, "sir, are you aware what type of business this is?" I nodded, "we don't have offices here."

"Oh, ok. Can you tell me where Anna is though? I really need to see her."

"I'm not even sure the owner's still here." I tried not to get mad, I wasn't looking for the owner, I was looking for Anna. "Let me page her. What was your name again?"

"Jamie. Jamie Reagan."

Immediately her face brightened, "Oh. That's a whole different story then. I'll call her, see if she's busy." She turned away and picked up her phone. She lowered her voice to whomever she was talking to, and I couldn't understand her. I tapped my fingers against her desk impatiently, and tried to figure out what she was saying.

**Anna POV**

I heard my interoffice phone ringing, but ignored it. I had paint up to my elbows, and was currently working on the third wall. The music was slow, and I kept pace with it, the swirls and curves getting shorter and shorter as the music slowed. In the next song the tempo slowly increased until there were giant crescendos, and I was back to moving fast, never stopping. Someone left a message on my phone, but I ignored that too. At some point I had picked up a clean brush, but hadn't dipped it in paint. I was just using the paint already on the wall, mixing colors, adding sensations, never stopping.

**Jamie POV**

The lady turned back to me and mumbled to herself, "She's not answering. But, she has been asking if you called." She looked me up and down, and for a moment it felt like she was trying to assess my character. "I could get in a lot of trouble if the boss heard about this, but go find her." I was really confused now, "She's two floors down. It's the beige door. There's currently multicolored paint on the doorknob so you can't miss it."

I nodded my thanks, and turned to walk away, "Mr. Reagan, you break her heart, you'll have to answer to more than just me." She waved her finger at me, and then pointed to a large room next to her, "Peak in there for a second. See how many people are devoted to Ms. Anna-Beth."

"Ma'am, you seem like a wonderful women. I'm sure Anna is a lucky person to have a friend like you. I would never hurt her."

She nodded, and waved for me to go see Anna.

**Anna POV**

I wasn't angry any more. Painting always helped like that. I lightly dipped the brush in some pink, to add it to the rainbow of colors already on the wall. The music continued to play, and I continued the brush.

**Jamie POV**

I tapped on the door, and no one answered. I could hear the music blaring, and wondered how Anna could hear anyone coming. I opened the door, careful not to get paint on my clothes. I looked in, and saw Anna painting. I saw a dirty cloth on a desk by me, so I wiped my hand off with it. Anna didn't seem to notice me, so I sat on a stool in the corner opposite from her.

I noticed she seemed to painting in time with the music, yet at a tempo of her own. She had different colors of paint up her arms, and some in her hair. I could tell it was all over her clothes too.

The song changed to a faster one, one I didn't recognize. It seemed Anna did though, because whenever she got closer to me, she was slightly humming along.

I don't know how long I sat there, but I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to hear Anna's voice. I got up, and slowly moved towards her. I grabbed the brush from her hand, and she spun towards me, "Anna."

**Anna POV**

I was almost done with this wall. Just a few more strokes, and it would be perfect. All of a sudden, someone grabbed the brush from my hand. That pissed me off. No one, ever, is supposed to disturb me. I spun around, and saw it was Jamie.

I heard him say my name, and all I did was blink. Great, he comes to see me, sees me in such a mess, and all I can do is blink?

"Jamie? How did you get in here?"

**Jamie POV**

She tilted her head, and looked a little confused, "How did you get in here?"

I laughed, "I opened the door. I hope that was all right?" _Do you even want to see me?_

**Anna POV**

How did he get past Linda? Is she even still here?

I shook my head, "yeah. I'm glad you came." _Why didn't you call?_

**J POV**

I heard what she meant, "I'm sorry. I know I should've called." That's the only explanation I can think of? Why not 'oh I was super busy being a cop and all, you know how it goes.'

What I want her to say is that I'm totally forgiven, and that she'll go out for dinner tonight. But will she?

**A POV**

"Oh." I look down. No question about dinner, no explanation, nothing. I feel like an idiot for wanting him to call so much, when he only came over here to be polite. I walk to the desk in the middle of the room, and grab the cloth to wipe my arms off, "Maybe you should go." I wouldn't let him see the disappointment in my face.

**J POV**

What? NO! I can't leave! "Go out for dinner with me. Tonight. It'll be our first date. It can replace the coffee date." I can't believe I just said that. It's obvious she's still mad at me.

**A POV**

The moment he says that I smile, "I'm kind of a mess. It'll take me too long to get cleaned up." I look back at him, and gestured to the paint all over my body.

He simply laughed, and nodded. "Yeah, you look like you were painting yourself more than anything."

**J POV**

She blushed and looked down, and mumbled something to herself. "I didn't mean it as a bad thing! It was very…adorable." Her head snapped up, and she glared at me.

**Anna POV**

"Take a look at what I do. It's not adorable. It's a person's feelings, or sentiments." I looked at him, and could tell he still didn't get it. I needed him to see why I did this. But did I really want to show him everything I do? I took a few moments, and then decided, "Wait here." I walked into the bathroom and used the soap to get all the paint off my arms, and called for Chinese food. Once I had as much paint scrubbed off my arms as I thought acceptable, I walked back out, "I ordered Chinese food to be delivered. I hope that's ok." He nodded, and I went to grab a different shirt out of my desk. I swirled my fingers in a circle, "Turn around."

"What?"

"I'm going to change shirts, and you're not aloud to look."

"Why didn't you just change in the other room?"

"Because my shirt was in here."

"Look down at that shirt." He motioned towards it, "Go on, look at it."

"I have! It's my shirt!" I looked down, and saw it was covered in blue paint. I realized this was the shirt I wiped my hands on. I looked up at Jamie, and started laughing. Pretty soon he joined in, "That shirt may actually be worse than the one I'm wearing now!" Between each word I was laughing.

That just made Jamie laugh harder. He grabbed onto the stool he was sitting on for support. "That was the rag I wiped my hands on too!" I fell to the floor I was laughing so hard. Jamie crawled over to me, and grabbed the shirt from my hands. He leaned against me for support. I slowly stopped laughing, and started hiccupping. Jamie looked at me, and I started laughing again.

It took us about five minutes to fully calm down, and even then I was still slightly giggling. "I haven't laughed that hard in so long." Jamie smiled, and I realized how cute it was.

I stopped for a second to just look at him, and he scratched his head nervously, "So, where can we eat?"

I smiled, and grabbed his hand. "Follow me." I wasn't sure about what I was doing, but I knew Jamie would like the room I took him too. "Martha doesn't even know about this room."

"Where are we going?" His voice was unsure, and I could tell his cop instincts were kicking in.

I turned back to look at him, "Don't worry. The food will get here eventually." He laughed, and I stopped and turned back to him, "Do you trust me?"

I knew it was an iffy question considering this was our first date, but I had to ask. He only paused a few seconds before answering, "Without hesitation." I gave him my brightest smile, and walked across the hall to my storage room.

It took up half the floor, and had stairs down to the two floors below. So, I might've fibbed a little when I talked about how many floors I owned in the building. I own five floors, and use two and a half of them for my art gallery. The other two and a half were my own personal studio. One floor was fireproof, and that's where I stored all my paintings.

That is where we were currently going, "No one knows this exists. Samantha only knows for legal reasons. You're the first that's ever been inside."

Jamie visibly gulped, and smiled, "Are you sure?"

I nodded "I trust you. I don't know why, but I do. Does that make sense?"

**J POV**

That made my heart leap. I looked her straight in the eyes, and said, "Yes."

**A/N: So that's all you get for now! The next chapter will be the date inside the fireproof room. In my notes, I'm gonna call it the vault, so if you ever get confused, that's why. Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter! By the way, anyone completely love the new season opener? I know I did!**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hm I haven't been able to watch T.V steady enough to keep up to date on the shows, so we're just going to pretend that doesn't ever happen. Anything that happens in my story will not relate to the current episodes, or any other fan fiction story. In this chapter I do refer to some different locations. I know practically nothing about New York, so please don't get mad. And don't laugh at my stupid mistakes. I'm just too rushed to get this finished then to go look up facts.**

**I'm contemplating changing the rating down to "T" because I can't seem to ever find a place in my head where I would put anything beyond that; besides swearing. Ok, here you go! Please review I seriously miss those. They inspire me to write more often.**

**Anna POV**

I opened the door some, and then stopped. I had a thought. I needed to ask Jamie something before he saw this. I turned around to him, and looked him straight in the eyes, "Do you like art?"

**Jamie POV**

I let a laugh escape, I couldn't help myself, "It's pretty obvious that you're a painter by now. You've still got paint all over yourself. I don't think I have a choice to answer yes. I do know that I like the art on your body. Does that count?"

She cocked her head a little, and smiled. That was the cutest thing a woman could ever do, "What do you mean?"

I shook my head and smiled, she truly had no idea how beautiful she could be without trying, "Never mind. Can I see already?" I gestured to the partially open door.

She nodded, and gave me a skeptical look, "Just tell me if you hate it, ok?"

"I won't. I can tell you're good. And I know absolutely nothing about art, so that's saying something." I smiled trying to ease her nerves.

She opened the door, "I will be on the top floor of this area. Come find me when you're done looking, or if the security guard calls up to let me know the food's here."

I nodded, because I couldn't find the words to say anything. I looked around, and every wall, in stacks on the floor, leaning against the walls, and just sitting by themselves, were paintings. Some of them weren't even paintings, they were sketches. There was every color known to man, and then some, on the canvases. Others had hardly anything on them, just a few things. Some were landscapes, other were just…randomness. I couldn't tell what they were meant to be, but I could tell they were amazing, and must have taken a really long time to work on.

I spent a long time looking at the art. At some points, Anna was watching my reaction, but once she realized I was in awe of her work, she left me alone to digest this all. I heard her call out, "food's here. I'm going to go get it. You have until I get back to finish ogling my work." I heard her smirk, and I shook my head.

That's what I was doing, wasn't it? I couldn't help but stare at every painting I saw. Some I would look at multiple times, other I would just sit and stare. I wasn't sure how long Anna was gone when I stopped upon the most beautiful landscape of the city I had ever seen. It somehow had the statue of liberty in it, Staten Island, and downtown all in one. My favorite part of it was the Twin Towers, with an American flag flying at the top. I could tell it wasn't accurate, but I couldn't tell how they had blended so easily.

When Anna came up to me, I was still staring at that picture. She looked at me, and then back to the painting, "It's not accurate."

I smiled, and looked at her. Her face was slightly filled with pride, but mostly apprehension. "I love it. How did you think of it?"

Her face instantly lit up, "You like it?" I nodded, and she continued, "Well it was really hard, I had to redo it so many times I almost gave up." Almost on the offhand she said, "Let's go eat before the food gets cold. There's a table on the top floor. I set it up so we can eat without getting anything near the paintings." I nodded, and she continued, "I finished it the May before the Towers fell. My friend died on 9/11, and that was her birthday gift. When her family died, they wanted me to have it in memory of her. She loved any painting of the skyline I did." I could see a sad smile on her face, but she was happy at the same time.

I continued to ask her questions, until finally she started asking me some in return. I looked at my watch at some point, just to figure out when I should go home, and it was almost 1 am. "Oh crap. I didn't realize it was so late. I have to go. I have to work in a few hours. Do you want me to drop you off?"

She shook her head, "I'm only going to end up here in a few hours. Besides, I'm not tired. I've got a bed upstairs in my actual office for when I get tired. Are you sure it's that late?" She looked out the window and laughed, "Well of course it is. Silly question. I'm glad you stayed so late though. It was…."I was in breathless suspense to hear what she had to say, "nice. I liked it."

Gawd that's a relief. "Will you go out on a date with me?"

She smirked again, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved her little smirk, "Wasn't this just a date?"

I laughed, "No. This was a "I screwed up, please forgive me" dinner. Let me take you on a real date. We'll dress up, I'll pick you up at your door, and we'll go to a fancy dinner." I could see it in her eyes; she was dying to say yes, but didn't want to seem to eager. "You don't have to answer now. Just call me when you make a decision this time?"

"Yeah, I promise. I will actually call you first this time. I'll buy you dinner if I don't, ok?"

I nodded, she was making a joke out of it to let me know that I was forgiven. I was thankful for that. I leaned in, and just as she looked in my eyes, I kissed her cheek. "Call me, ok?"

She nodded, and I turned and left.

Damn, what an exit.

**Anna POV**

We walked into the vault, and I was so nervous. I barely knew this man, but I was showing him my inner most secrets; literally. He looked around, and then looked back to me. I could tell he actually wanted to look around, so I gave him a small smile, and told him where I'd be when he was ready.

I went up to the second level, and pulled out the table and chairs. I found an old cloth somewhere, and covered the table with it. It had paint stains on it, but so did I. I searched around for silverware, and then looked at the table. I went to peer over the edge of the landing, and tried to find Jamie. I couldn't see him so he must be up on the other side, on the top floor. I started pacing waiting for him. This wasn't good, why had I done this?

He must be completely freaked. He must think I'm a freak. Why had I done this? I normally wasn't this stupid. Why had I let him get to me? He was only going to break my heart in the end. Finally I decided to search him out. I couldn't stand it any more. I had barely noticed my own paintings, which was I normally came in here; to see how far I had come. This was my sanctuary, and now I couldn't even appreciate it.

I finally found him by my painting of the New York skyline. I had made a few others, but none since the Towers fell. It just wasn't the same. This was well hidden, I was surprised he had found it. I looked at him, looked back to the picture, and said, "It's not accurate." Gee captain obvious, nice way to impress the guy.

I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, "I love it. How did you think of it?"

I smiled, and told him the painting's story. He nodded, and I could see sadness in his eyes. Every New Yorker knew what that day was like. Every American knew it's chaos. It was sad, but it was great to see how America supported the whole country really in the aftermath. Everyone was a friend to another, but each had their own pain.

I had tried to replicate the painting without the Towers, but I finally gave up on that project. The skyline wasn't the same without it.

We moved to the food, and started talking. I kept asking him questions about himself, his history. I couldn't get him to talk enough. I just loved his voice. Finally he looked at his watch, and said he had to go. We made some small talk, I told him I liked the night, and he asked me out on a date.

I gladly accepted, and then he moved in to kiss me. He kissed my cheek, and said, "Call me, ok?" I nodded, and he trned and left.

Now that, was an exit.

**A/N: So, I can't wait until this story finally gets moving, but it's getting closer! Sorry I write so much from Anna's POV, she's the character I created, so it's easiest to write from her. Can I get a few reviews? Please? I'll beg if you want me to. **


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: So I really, REALLY, have the itch to write. And it won't go away. My homework is seriously suffering guys. This is not good. I need to be assigned a paper or something so I can get over it. Any ideas? Oh well, for now, I will just continue to write for you. Be glad it's this story; I'm seriously neglecting my other one. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except, my own characters. I wish I owned "Blue Bloods" but I'm not that smart! **

**Anna POV**

I woke up at six the next morning, and immediately started painting. I left my office door unlocked, and left a note for Martha to come to this door. I needed her to know about this room if I was gong to include these rooms in the showing. I thought about the painting Jamie looked at last night. I was kind of surprised he didn't see the hidden police shield in it. I'd leave it out, and slowly hint at it. I smiled as I remembered his reaction to this room.

I got out four canvases, and laid them together on the easels, making sure they were touching evenly. I started painting the back round, making strokes that ran from one canvas, all the way to the last. I mostly used different shades of green, and added a few yellow streaks to add color. I continued painting, adding shades of white and black to add depth to the green. Finally, I stepped back, and turned them towards the windows to see the colors. I added some more green to clarify the colors, and then put my brush down. I brought the fan over, and moved the table to set the fan blowing on the paintings. I started to clean the brushes, and then went to organize my paintings.

Eventually, Martha knocked on the door, and came in. She saw I was still working on the four canvases, so she didn't even glance at them. She knew the only rule I had was she couldn't see my paintings until they were completely finished, or I asked her to look at them.

I could tell she wanted to ask about last night, but she couldn't stop glancing at the paintings around the room, "Go ahead. I have to finish this painting anyways. We'll talk once I'm done." I smiled at her, and she just glanced at the finished canvases, and the walls.

I ignored her, and walked over to my unfinished canvases. I grabbed the darkest black and the brightest white I had, and grabbed the smallest brush I had. I started slowly drawing people, making their hands and feet pointed straight of their limbs. Their head was just round, no features. The white figure was chasing the black figure, the chase slowly overlapping on each canvas. They curled up into the back round, and the last canvas they were tackling each other. That canvas was the lightest of them all, but still had the same pattern. I put the fan on the side of the pictures, hoping the paint drops would blow sideways. This would add more affects to the back round, along with the fact that the painting wasn't completely dry when I started drawing the figures.

I looked around the place, and Martha was coming down from the second floor, with her mouth agape. I smirked, nothing ever shocked Martha, and it was nice to see her surprised for a change. She pointed at all this, and asked, "How the hell have I never known about this? I know about your secret place in the top of your building, but how did I not know about this?"

"I try to keep my secrets. Wait. What? How do you know about the top floor of my apartment building? How do you even know I own that building?"

She put her hand on her hips, and cocked an eyebrow at me. I took this to mean something along the lines of 'I know everything about you little girl, don't ever underestimate my powers.' I told her as such, and she simply nodded. She came, and walked over to the four canvases. "What's the title?"

I tilted my head to the side a little, and looked at it again, "The pursuit of darkness."

She looked at me, "Creepy." She smiled, and helped me move it to the side of the room. "We're going to inventory every piece of work in this damn place, so we know exactly what you want to make a copy of and sell, and what pieces you simply want to display and keep." She took a camera out of her bag, and started taking pictures of everything.

"What are you doing?" She must be crazy! "You can't take pictures of my art! It's not the same!"

Martha looked at me like I was crazy, "I know that. I can't set all your paintings on the table for you to look at and decide which ones to keep or sell. We are going to go about this efficiently. I set up the details, remember? I assume, we're using this space for the gallery too?" I nodded, and she started mumbling to herself, "I need to order more flowers, more food, more tables, more everything! The damn girl suddenly expanding the space by twice the size; how good does she think I am?"

I had walked away at this point, but I had to make a comment on her last statement, "I think you're amazing Martha. You're the only person who's lasted five years. That's almost as long as I've been in New York. Before you, my secretaries wouldn't last a month. The temp agencies stopped finding me temps. Remember that when I get crabby."

She didn't even look up to me, "You're just lucky I put up with your crap." I laughed once, and then strolled out of her way. "I'm going to go call Jamie. Don't move any of the paintings, I know where they all are. Take the pictures, and then set them all out on the floor." I could tell she wanted to do it on the table, "They won't all fit on the table. The door in the back there leads to a room that is stacked full with paintings."

She harrumphed, and then continued working. As I was leaving to go change I heard her say, "How the hell am I supposed to get this all done in time for the gallery?"

I stopped, yelled up to her, "We haven't even set a date yet!" And then left before she could throw something at me.

I went up to my semi-office, and grabbed my phone. I wondered if it was to soon to call Jamie, but then I remembered when he kissed my cheek last night. I smiled, and dialed his number. He answered on the third ring, "Hello?"

"Jamie? It's me. It's Anna." He paused for a second, and then yawned, "Oh no! Did I wake you up? I can call you back?"

"NO!"

**Jamie POV**

"NO!" I realized I probably sounded controlling, or desperate, so I calmed down, "Don't hang up. I'm fine, just tired. This pretty lady I was talking too last night kept me up really late and I didn't even realize it. Then, she made me kiss her on the cheek."

I heard her giggle, and I smiled, "The way I heard it, he was almost forward with her. He kept her up almost all night, and only kissed her on the cheek. I heard she was really disappointed when she didn't get kissed." She giggled again, and I couldn't keep up the pretense.

"Do you want to go to dinner tonight? We'll go to this nice place in China Town. The owner owes me a favor so we can have the room in the back so it won't be so loud."

She laughed again, "Are you abusing your police duties? Do I have to report you to your superiors?" I laughed; if only she knew.

"Ok, ok. I promise I'll be good. We could even go to drinks after. It could be two dates in one."

She hummed a little like she was thinking it over, "So you're the man who was being forward?" I laughed outright.

"I thought I was being perfectly polite. But, if the lady doesn't want to be kissed, then she doesn't have to be kissed."

"NO!"

**Anna POV**

Ah hell, no I'd done it. "I mean, the lady does not mind. The lady may have liked it." He laughed so hard. I harrumphed, and stayed quiet to make him nervous.

It took a few moments, but I could hear his silent panic, "Anna? Are you still there? I was only kidding. I'll stop."

**Jamie POV**

She made the most beautiful noise of frustration, and then stayed quiet. I waited for her to say something else, but she didn't. I even thought she had hung up.

I panicked, how could I have messed this up again? "Anna? Are you still there? I'm only kidding I'll stop." Before I had the chance to beg, she spoke up.

"Yeah. I was just kidding. I didn't mean to scare you." I sighed; she was playing with me. "Today's Saturday-"

"I knew that Jamie." I heard her giggle a little.

"_Any_ways, I have a family dinner tomorrow, but how about on Monday I take you for dinner and drinks? What do you say? How can you resist an irresistible guy like me? We can redefine speed dating."

She all out laughed, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved the sounds she made, and tried not to imagine other sounds she could make. "How is this speed dating? We've only been on one date!"

"Exactly! We're combining multiple dates into one! It's the new speed dating! You go on multiple dates per night, except only with one person!"

She laughed again, and paused for a second, "So if this is speed dating, when do I start dating the other guys?"

Ouch, that hurt, "Hey, that's not fair. What does a guy have to do to not get criticized all the time?" She snickered, and I continued, "I happen to be turning down many offers of dates all the time."

"Great, then we're agreed. We date multiple people at once."

Now she was just screwing with me, "That's not what I meant! Come on! You play dirty!"

"It's a good thing we've got that established now Reagan. Just don't forget it." I groaned, how else did she expect me to react? This woman might just be the death of me. But, I would die a happy man.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys, it's been awhile. Let's see how far I can get this story to progress. I'll try to update a lot to make up for this, but no promised. I am in college after all.**

**I don't own Blue Bloods. I do own Anna-Beth, Martha, the vault, the girls, the imaginary artwork, and anything else you don't see on the show.**

**Anna POV**

He picked me up the next day, and we went for drinks and dinner. A couple days later, we went to a movie; a few days after that, a play. I was spending most of my time outside the art gallery with him, and Martha was frustrated. We had just moved all the artwork up to the original gallery so I could paint the walls. We had been dating for about two months now.

Jamie had brought a picnic, and was going to watch me paint. I turned to look at him, "Essentially you're going to be watching paint dry." He raised his eyebrow at me and shrugged one shoulder. He laid out the blanket he had brought, and started unpacking the picnic basket he brought.

Martha fluttered in, "Frankly you're even lucky she's letting you watch. Boy, you better realize you're basically going to watch the painting of the Sistine chapel here."

He popped a grape into his mouth and nodded his head, "I do. I will cherish this experience as if it were the Holy Grail." I started opening my gallons of paint.

I swirled some paint brushes in them, and was surprised, "Martha! Where did you get this paint? It's crap!" Jamie tried to peak in, but I pointed the brush at him to stay there. Martha walked over and peered in the buckets. Then she looked at me, and peered in again.

"There's two cartons of eggs in your fridge upstairs. I'll be right back."

I cracked open the rest of the paint gallons, and laid out my brushes. Jamie stayed where he was, but tried to see what I was doing, "What are the eggs for?"

I put my hair up in a pony and looked at him, "They'll increase the quality of the paint. I'm very picky about what types of paint I'll use for what canvases, so we keep eggs in the fridge in case Martha gets the wrong paint. Then we don't have to go buy brand new gallons and waste all the paint." Just as I finished talking Martha walked back in with the cartons of eggs. She started to crack one into the bucket, but I stopped her, "Only the egg whites." She let one fall into a bucket, and I waved for her to stop. I started doing it all, making sure each one was the right consistency. Martha walked over to Jamie, and they started talking. I faintly heard Martha mumble something about me being stubborn, but then I tuned them both out.

It took me almost ten minutes, but finally I had each bucket the consistency I wanted. I had used almost two full cartons of eggs, so I would have to go buy more.

I looked at each wall, and decided they would be their own canvas. Lord knows I had put up enough drywall in my life that I could just put up a little more if needed.

I grabbed my favorite brush and started painting.

**Jamie POV**

It was one of my few days off that I actually didn't have to spend undercover, so I was spending the day with Anna. I had surprised her with a picnic lunch, but she had said she had to work. I smiled at the thought, when was painting work? But I was perfectly content to watch, so I said so. Anna had blushed, and tried to make some excuse and change her plans. Then Martha had rushed in and told Anna I could stay. That had seemed to settle it.

Anna was talking about putting eggs in her paint, and I was a little confused. Who knew Harvard didn't teach a lot? But putting eggs in paint was putting eggs in paint. So I listened to Anna talk, and watched her move. She had on a ratty t-shirt that was too big for her and jeans on under that. Martha tried to help, but Anna only waved her away.

Martha came over to me, "That is one stubborn woman you've got there. How in hell do you deal with her?" But she was smiling so I knew she was joking. She looked at Anna and saw she didn't notice, so Martha turned back to me. "She really never lets people watch. I'd probably get fired if I looked at a painting before it was done. Anna is generally a carefree person, but she is very strict when it comes to her art. You need to know that once she sets a date for the showing, she'll practically live here. Don't let that discourage you though. Make her eat, and get her out. You'll be good for her." Martha was intimidating. I wasn't sure if I should nod, or what. Martha seemed to know that though, "Look, frankly you've got more potential than anybody she's dated in a long time, and I mean _long."_ She sat down next to me, but facing me. "Anna's been through a lot of heartache, and I'm only saying this because I know she's not listening worth jack. If you ever tell her, I'll deny it, but she's like a daughter to me." I looked at Martha again, she must be no more than 40. "You're doing everything right; taking it slow, and testing the waters at the same time. But you ever hurt that girl and it won't matter you're a police officer. I'll only be one of many that'll be after you. Got it?"

I nodded this time. "I don't plan on hurting her ma'am."

"Mhhhm. You don't plan on having a heart attack, you just do." I was fairly certain this woman was at least partially crazy. "What I mean to say is that you don't know nothing yet." Again, partially crazy. "But when you do know things, think before you speak all right?" I just looked at her, "You'll understand when the time comes." Yup, she was crazy. So I nodded.

She nodded too, and got up and left the room. Anna had a tiny portion of the wall done, and it was in bright colors. I saw her smile as she worked, and I smiled too. "Is it okay if I turn on some music?"

"Mhhhhhm." She probably didn't even hear me.

I walked over to the stereo, and turned it on low. Then I went back to sit on the blanket. I leaned on one arm, and slowly started eating the food. Anna's pace seemed to flow with the music, but her brush never left the wall except to get more paint. I watched her arms curve up when the music got louder, and her bend to the ground when the music got softer. I just kept watching her, not even noticing when Martha came in or out. Eventually, I fell asleep.

**Anna POV**

It must have been hours later when I looked back to Jamie, because I had one full wall done. I smiled softly; he had fallen asleep. Poor guy, he had told me how much he was working lately. I went and grabbed my book, then sat on the blanket next to him. I ate some of the food, and just listened to the music while occasionally glancing at Jamie. At one point my phone rang, but I just turned it off. When the food was gone, I laid back on the floor with my knees up. I put my book down, and closed my eyes for a few seconds.

**Jamie POV**

I jerked awake, and sat up. I hoped Anna wouldn't be mad. It was just so calm watching her paint. I looked over to the wall she was working on, and saw the blue. It was different shades, with other colors highlighting the blue. The main blue though, I recognized; I saw it every time I put the uniform on.

I pulled out both my phones, just to see if I had missed anything important, and saw I had missed a call from my dad. I got up and left the room to call him back. The phone rang a few times, and then he picked up, "Reagan."

"Hey dad it's me. What's up?"

"Just checking in. Hadn't heard from you in a few days and you missed the last Sunday dinner. Everything okay son?"

I glanced back at the door to Anna's gallery, "Yeah Dad, everything's great. I've just been really busy at work lately. Sunday I honestly slept through dinner." I instantly regretted saying that, now he would worry.

"Jamie if this is too much for you, just let me know and I can get you out of it."

"Dad, I know. But I like this. Besides, I'm always careful."

"I know son, I just worry."

"Yeah Dad, I know. Anything else?"

He chuckled, "Let me guess, you're with that new girl."

I smiled, "Anna dad. Her name's Anna."

"Right, Anna. So when are you going to bring her around to a Sunday dinner?"

I thought of the conversation Martha and I had had earlier today, "Not yet Dad, too soon. I will bring her around eventually though."

He chuckled again, "All right. Well that was it. Be careful Jamie."

"Right Dad. Bye."

He hung up, and I walked back into the room. Anna was still sleeping, so I let her sleep. I called for pizza, and gave them instructions to give it to security. Then I called down to let them know that I'd be paying for it.

I looked around, and realized I haven't seen even half of the paintings here. I decided to go through them all, if I could. Slowly I started my new project while I waited for Anna to wake.


	10. Chapter 9

I had spent the last five days in the gallery. Thankfully I kept enough change of clothes that I only had to use the little shower in the third floor bathrooms. We were leasing the floor below us, the seventh floor, just for storage wile I painted the place. Besides that initial room, the different colors of blue, the rest of the rooms would be white, beige, or cream depending on what the artists preferred. My office would be locked except to those working the showing. There would be two floors total for the art showing. One of them would be split between my work, and a project I had the kids at a local school doing. The other would be for local artists to showcase their work. I had a deal with the artists that if they were selling their work, the art gallery got a 10% commission on it for using the space. If others were just showing their work, they had to pay 7% of what the painting was valued at. It was steep, but it kept people from simply being showoffs, and actually trying to bring business to the gallery. Surprisingly, there were a lot of artists just showing their work. They knew I would hold another showing in the next few months, and would hope to get more space there. Some people came to my showings just to look for newer artists, and liked it when it was mostly newer artist's work.

Surprisingly, I hadn't heard from Jamie since I had started hibernating in here. I had just finished the last wall, and would be meeting with the florist later today. For some reason, this showing wasn't taking as long to get ready for than the others had. I was almost done, I would be ordering all red flowers; roses, carnations, daisies, and anything else the florist could think of. The part that was reserved for the children's project would have all white flowers. They were told to draw what color meant to them. It was simple, and I was excited to see what they made. The showing would be in two weeks, and things were coming together perfectly. The flowers would be delivered the day before. The pamphlets of exactly what was being showed would be printed and delivered two days before to allow time for the artists to make any changes. Water bottles would be delivered the day before that for the children when their families showed up. Those families would receive 75% off admission, and those tickets had already been mailed. Guests would need to RSVP five days before the showing. We had given them late notice, but they all had suspected one would happen soon. Besides, if our regulars didn't want them we had plenty of people begging for tickets.

Martha came around the corner, "Jamie just called. He says that if you don't answer your phone one more time, he's sending a search party."

"I might even get some dogs to hunt you down," I turned around. He had walked right in behind Martha.

I looked at her and she shrugged. "Don't ask me how he got in; these floors are locked to everybody except the artists and the students until a week past the showing."

I turned back to Jamie, "Your security guard likes me. He used his key in the elevator to let me up." He held up my phone, "These things are meant to be turned on you know."

"What? It is on." I walked over to him. Was it still off from last week? "How many days have I been in here?"

"Six. I've come to kidnap you."

I looked at him, "I could have sworn it was only five."

He shook his head. "Five days since you turned this off; I saw you the day after you finished the blue wall, and have been calling every day since. I showed up here today and called Martha just to give you a heads-up, but this was easier."

"Oh. I may have lost my phone." I gave him an apologetic smile.

He nodded, "It was in your office squeezed between a used paint can, and the trash can." He threw a change of clothes at me. "I also stopped by your place. A neighbor let me in; she was restocking your groceries. She said she bought you some jerk chicken. Is that supposed to mean anything?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Don't worry about it." I looked at the clothes; they were a little nicer. "Are we going somewhere?"

"You have a choice. We either go to Sunday dinner with my family, or we go to a fancy restaurant. Now, since I know you only like to go to those restaurants in dresses, there is also a dress hanging up in my car."

I walked over and pecked him on the cheek. "Both of those sound fun, but I have an even better idea." I started walking towards the door, looked back at him, and smiled. "Let's go to the beach. You'll love my bikini."

He just gulped, dropped the clothes, and followed. Martha laughed, picked up my clothes, and told us to have fun.

* * *

An hour and a half later we were lying on our beach towels. I was lying on my stomach and leaning on my arms. Jamie was putting sunscreen on my back. He moved my bikini strap and I giggled, "That tickles. Be careful."

He did it again. I rolled over, causing him to fall into the sand. "Hey!"

I laughed, "I warned you!"

I ran into the water, and he chased me. We ended up in a splashing fight.

* * *

A few hours later we were lying on the towels watching the sunset. My head was on his chest. "Anna?"

"Yeah?"

He seemed hesitant, "I wan to ask you something, but you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

This got me worried. "Ok."

I could feel him gulp. We still hadn't moved to look at each other. It seemed both of us were afraid of the question. "Those scars on your chest, what are they from?"

I closed my eyes. This is what I was afraid of him asking. I wonder if I could bluff my way through this. I wasn't ready to tell him yet. "I was sick a lot when I was little." That part was true. "It's a familial disease, you probably have never heard of it. The doctors weren't really sure how to fix it, so they just tried everything. Those are catheter marks."

He thought that over for a minute, "Has it come back?"

"Not for a while. I've been good for a long time." Well for me that is.

He nodded, "That's all I need to know for now."

I listened to his heart, enjoying the rhythm of it; it was keeping me calm. I sat up, kissed his chest over his heart, and got up. "We should probably get going. We both have to work tomorrow."

We were silent as we picked everything up. I grabbed his hand as we walked back to his car. He had told me it was his brother's, and I absolutely loved it. We were pretty much silent on the car ride too. I was tired from the sun, and I knew he was still thinking everything over. He parked the car, walked me up to my apartment, and kissed my forehead. "I promise we're okay. I just need to think. I'll call you tomorrow?"

I nodded, "I'll make sure not to lose my phone between now and then." I gave him a small smile and yawned. He chuckled, and left. I closed the door, and leaned my forehead against it. I whispered the things I had not wanted him to know, "It killed my brother. I ran from my grandparents so they wouldn't have to watch me die. I hope I won't have to run from you too."


	11. Chapter 10

I saw Jamie the next day at the art gallery. Martha had some of the students in my secret room helping me to rearrange paintings. Some of the doors in here would be shut and the rooms behind them would be used for storage. I was standing in front of a portrait of my grandmother. It was from the last time I had seen her. We had been in the house in California, out on the porch. Jamie walked in and saw me staring at it. He put my arm through his and stood next to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder, "I can't decide if I want to show this one or not."

I felt him nod, "Who is it?"

I told him it was my grandmother and that it was from when I was last in California. "It was one of her last good days while I was there. She was reading, and I was sitting across the porch from her with my easel. She didn't know I was painting her."

"Where was your grandfather?"

I laughed. "He was sitting across the table from her. She was reading out loud to him. He needs reading glasses but hates wearing them so she used to read out loud to him instead." In the portrait my grandmother was slightly bent over her book. The porch railing was in the back and you could just barely see the garden behind it.

He paused for a second, "Why don't you go back? If you haven't been sick in a while, what's stopping you?"

I stiffened and moved to pull away but he pulled my arm tighter. I still hadn't told him that my cancer had been back more than once since I moved to New York. As far as I knew he thought it was only once, and that it had still been years ago. "My grandmother got sick before I did the last time. But then she also got Alzheimer's. With everything, it got to be too much so I just ran. Now it's too late to go back."

He pulled me in for a hug, "I'm sorry love. Is she okay now?"

I squeezed him harder, "I don't know. I contact them at least once a month to let them know I'm still alive, but I also do it through Samantha. She sends it to somewhere else and then they send it to my grandparents. I don't want them to know where I am. It's better that they just think I'm living my life happy somewhere. They don't need to know how sick I got the last time. They also don't need to know it could happen again."

I felt him stiffen at that, "What? I thought you said you were okay." He pulled back from me and held me at arm's length so he could see me better, as if to see if the cancer had come back.

I gave him a small smile and looked around. People were coming in and out of the rooms, Martha was directing everyone where to go, and it was just general chaos. I grabbed his hand and said, "Follow me." I pulled him to one of the storage rooms that I knew weren't being rearranged today and shut the door; no one had even noticed where we went. I pulled him close to me. I didn't want to scare him but I had to be near him. I needed his comfort as much as I needed to comfort him. "I am currently fine. But Jamie, my cancer is very aggressive. It killed my brother. It's come back more than once since I moved here. I don't want to go back to my grandparents until I am sure I am cured. I don't want them to have to watch me die."

He pulled me closer, "I knew you weren't telling me everything at the beach yesterday." He shook his head, "If we're going to make this work you have to tell me everything. I mean everything. I am here for you Anna, and I always will be, but I need to know what's going on. I love you, but I don't want to lose you. Are you going to get sick again?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. That wasn't what I wanted to here. I liked Jamie, but I couldn't put him through this. If I was honest with myself I probably more than liked him, but I couldn't admit it. I knew what it was like to watch someone die.

When I didn't answer he continued, "You know my brother died on the job. You know how dangerous it is to be a police officer. If you can put up with that then I can put up with your cancer." That stung. Cancer wasn't something you just put up with, but he continued. "My mom died within months of being diagnosed. She wasn't in any pain when she died, but there was nothing the doctors could do to save her. Surely there has to be something they can do for you? You're young. You'll be fine, right?"

I wasn't even sick again and I was already getting this speech. I ignored the fact that I needed to go in for a checkup soon and replied, "Yeah. I'll be fine Jamie." But will you?

He squeezed me tight for a second and then let go. "Good." He smiled at me, "I have a question for you." I panicked at that, and my eyes flew open. He noticed and grabbed my arms again to calm me down, "No not that." He gave me a small laugh. "I can imagine how you feel about marriage, but I have something else to ask."

I interrupted him, "Jamie isn't not that I don't want to get married. I've just been sick so much that it's hard to think of someone else. It's not fair to put someone in that position."

He interrupted me, and laughed. "It's my choice if I want to be put in that position or not. You can't make it for me. But we'll talk about that more when I actually ask you that." He saw I was about to protest, "Now just let me finish what I'm saying, okay? I promise it's not that bad." I nodded and he continued, "I want you to come to a Sunday dinner with me. It's only Monday, so you have just under a week to think about it." He could see I was nervous about it, "After I missed yesterday they've been calling me all day. They all want to meet you. Now that I'm done with undercover, my partner wants to meet you as well." He saw this was making me more nervous and stepped away from me, "Shit. Sorry, I'm asking this all wrong." He turned back to me, "Let's start with family dinner. If that goes well, maybe you can meet my partner. Janko's cool. She's really interested in meeting you."

I stepped back, "I don't know Jamie. And you never told me Janko's a girl."

He started pacing, "Dammit. Sorry. I'm being a jerk. I came here today planning to be all supportive and ask you to meet my family, but I ended up wrecking our day. I promise nothing is going on between me and Janko. We're just partners. We don't want it to go any further than that."

Wait, what? Now I had met him just after his old partner had died, but it was before he met Janko. "Wait, so that means you and her had that conversation while we were dating?"

He whipped around to face me, "No! She and I kissed once before we met but we put off talking about it. It was a week or two before we met. I went undercover again for a while and we didn't have a chance to talk about it until after I met you that first night. By then I was temporarily riding with Renzuli while they transferred her temporary partner. I knew I wanted to see you again, and I knew I didn't want to start a relationship with her. Please believe me!" He walked towards me but I backed up even more. I almost tripped on a few canvases, and walked in the other direction. "Anna, it was no big deal!"

"That's not what I'm worried about Jamie. What I'm worried about is why you're making such a big deal of this. Why are you bringing this up when you're asking me to meet your family? What if Janko's jealous and is thinking about that while you two are patrolling? What if she missed a chance to save your life because she's too worried about how good you'll be in bed?" I was yelling at this point, and I barely even knew why.

We both froze. We had known each other for months now, yet hadn't had sex. We were both constantly on tip toe around each other worrying about it. He looked hurt, "Jamie, that's not what I meant."

He shook his head, "But it is, isn't it? You're afraid with me out on the streets. You don't want me to be a cop."

I moved toward him, but he backed away. "That's not it at all Jamie." I sighed.

He spoke before I could say anything else, "I guess that's what it feels like wondering if your cancer will come back."

My head whipped up at that. I blinked the tears away. I knew it was a bad decision to tell him, "No it's not Jamie. I know you are safe on the streets. You and Janko do everything you can to be safe. Yes, there are sometimes when there are things beyond their control. I was only worried about Janko because she's new to the force. What if she gets distracted by you?" Clearly this was something he had thought about because he wouldn't look at me anymore. "What if you get hurt because of her carelessness?" Then I remembered his comment about being unsafe on the streets is like cancer, and I got mad. "Being a cop is nothing like my cancer. Do you know how scary it is to have your mother die in the same hospital room as you? To have your brother die from the same sickness you have while you are somehow miraculously healthy? I missed both my mother's and my brother's funerals because I was in the hospital Jamie. My father died of grief six months later. My grandfather nearly killed himself working so much to pay off mine and my grandmother's hospital bills."

I choked back a sob. "Yes, being a cop is dangerous." I looked away from him. "Simply being alive is dangerous for me. People in my family who get sick when they're young don't live past their early 20's. I'm 25 Jamie. People in my family who get diagnosed later in life only last 5 years; I haven't seen my grandmother in six." I walked past him, "I told you about my mom and brother because I love you. I do not need my cancer thrown back in my face." I turned to leave and finally started crying. "I can't come meet your family. The showing is in next weekend anyways. I'll be too busy until Saturday, and then too tired on Sunday to go. Goodbye Jamie." I rushed past all the art students and ran out to the street.

I refused to see Jamie or take any of his calls. I stayed with Aimee until then. I didn't want to see Jamie until I absolutely had too. She completely understood. Her husband Tom was fine with it. They had both gone through something like this when Aimee was first diagnosed. I was the one who encouraged Aimee to talk to Tom, to let him help. I knew she still didn't like that I had made her put Tom through her cancer, but Tom was absolutely grateful for it and would do anything for me. He didn't even comment on the hypocrisy of my situation.


	12. Chapter 11

**Jamie POV**

She had just told me her cancer was aggressive. Did that mean it might come back? I knew she hadn't told me everything yesterday, and told her that. I told her I loved her but I needed to know what was going on. We couldn't keep secrets from each other. We talked some more and then I remembered I had come over here for a reason. I started to ask her, but then realized I was rambling. How did I end up talking about marriage? Shit, I didn't want to freak her out. Sure I could picture myself growing old with her, but that I didn't mean I had to scare her away before that could even be a possibility for her. All of a sudden she started talking about how it wasn't fair to make someone watch their loved one die of cancer. How did she think that was her choice?

"It's my choice if I want to be put in that position or not. You can't make it for me. But we'll talk about that more when I actually ask you that." I saw her freak out at that and figured she thought I was talking about marriage again. I sighed and started pacing. "I want you to come to a Sunday dinner with me. It's only Monday, so you have just under a week to think about it." I turned to look at her and saw she was about to bolt. "After I missed yesterday they've been calling me all day. They all want to meet you. Now that I'm done with undercover, my partner wants to meet you as well." Somehow this made it worse. I took a step back, "Shit. Sorry, I'm asking this all wrong." I turned to look at her again, "Let's start with family dinner. If that goes well, maybe you can meet my partner. Janko's cool. She's really interested in meeting you."

Her eyes went wide. What had I said this time? She took a step back, "I don't know Jamie. And you never told me Janko's a girl." I rubbed my fingers through my hair; hadn't I?

I started pacing, "Dammit. Sorry. I'm being a jerk. I came here today planning to be all supportive and ask you to meet my family, but I ended up wrecking our day. I promise nothing is going on between me and Janko. We're just partners. We don't want it to go any further than that." I had kissed Janko about a week or so before I met Anna. With the undercover I had done, Janko and I didn't get to talk about it until a few weeks after I met Anna. By that time I was way too interested in Anna to ever try anything with Janko.

"Wait, so that means you and her had that conversation while we were dating?" I knew she'd pick up on that. Damn.

I turned back to face her. I needed her to believe me. I couldn't lose her. We had been dating for about six months now, and I already knew I couldn't lose her. "No! She and I kissed once before we met but we put off talking about it. It was a week or two before we met. I went undercover again for a while and we didn't have a chance to talk about it until after I met you that first night. By then I was temporarily riding with Renzuli while they transferred her temporary partner. I knew I wanted to see you again, and I knew I didn't want to start a relationship with her. Please believe me!" I walked towards her but she backed up. She almost tripped on a canvas and I reached to grab her but she turned away from me. How was I already losing her? "Anna, it was no big deal!"

"That's not what I'm worried about Jamie. What I'm worried about is why you're making such a big deal of this. Why are you bringing this up when you're asking me to meet your family? What if Janko's jealous and is thinking about that while you two are patrolling? What if she missed a chance to save your life because she's too worried about how good you'll be in bed?" She had started yelling by the end, and I winced. We both stopped and stared at each other, neither willing to speak. If I was honest with myself, I had been ready to sleep with her from the first night I met her but I respected her too much to do that. We were moving on her speed, which I was more than happy to do.

She was the first to speak, "Jamie, that's not what I meant."

I thought I knew what this was about. "But it is, isn't it? You're afraid with me out on the streets. You don't want me to be a cop." That hurt. It was a part of who I was, it was in my blood; the Reagan family legacy and all that.

She moved toward me and I backed away. "That's not it at all Jamie."

I had been through this before with Sydnie. I didn't want to go through it again. I was not going to quit being a police officer. I know she worried about her, but didn't she know I worried about her too? "I guess that's what it feels like wondering if your cancer will come back." I had said it before I even thought about it. I already felt guilty for saying it.

She had tears in her eyes, "No it's not Jamie. I know you are safe on the streets. You and Janko do everything you can to be safe. Yes, there are sometimes when there are things beyond your control. I was only worried about Janko because she's new to the force. What if she gets distracted by you?" She paused and I looked away from her. "What if you get hurt because of her carelessness?" It was something I had thought about as well.

Then she got mad again, "Being a cop is nothing like my cancer. Do you know how scary it is to have your mother die in the same hospital room as you? To have your brother die from the same sickness you have while you are somehow miraculously healthy? I missed both my mother's and my brother's funerals because I was in the hospital Jamie. My father died of grief six months later. My grandfather nearly killed himself working so much to pay off mine and my grandmother's hospital bills." She choked back a sob. "Yes, being a cop is dangerous." She looked away from me. I knew I had screwed up. "Simply being alive is dangerous for me. People in my family who get sick when they're young don't live past their early 20's. I'm 25 Jamie. People in my family who get diagnosed later in life only last 5 years; I haven't seen my grandmother in six." She walked past me. "I told you about my mom and brother because I love you. I do not need my cancer thrown back in my face." She paused at the door and I heard her crying. "I can't come meet your family. The showing is in next weekend anyways. I'll be too busy until Saturday, and then too tired on Sunday to go. Goodbye Jamie."

After she left I heard people in the hall trying to get her to stop. I yelled at her to stop. I turned back into the room and paced back and forth. What else was I supposed to do? I had screwed up, and screwed up big time. I kicked at the wall, and my foot went through the plaster. I heard something knock over. I rushed out to see what it was, and everyone turned to me. It was Anna's painting of the skyline before 9/11. There was an obvious smudge on it now. I looked closer and saw the police badge in it. The numbers were smudged now.

I looked over to Martha. She glared at me. Without a doubt I knew she had heard the better part of my argument with Anna. "Leave."

I lowered my head and nodded. I didn't say anything; what could I say?

Right as I reached the main door to that section I heard her say something else. She had followed me. "Don't come back without an invitation." I stiffened at that, and nodded. I couldn't lose Anna. I just couldn't. It may take some time, but I would be back.


	13. Chapter 12

**Jamie POV**

I went over to my dad's after that. I needed to talk to somebody. If he wasn't there, at least Pops would be. I knocked on the kitchen door, and walked in. "Hello?" I called.

"In here!" I heard from the living room. I walked to the living room and saw Pops. "Jamie! How are you? Is everything ok? What are you doing here today?" He turned to look at me. "Girl troubles, huh?"

I chuckled, "How'd you know?" I rubbed the back of my neck and sat on the couch.

"When you get to be my age, you just know." I cocked an eyebrow at him, "Well this girl has been the only reason you've missed Sunday dinners in the past six months. Now barely 24 hours after the latest family dinner you missed, and it has to be the girl. Hold on, let me grab the whiskey." He turned to look at me, "better make it the scotch."

He came back and sat a glass in front of me. "Pops, I think I messed up."

He had poured me a single, but then poured me a double. "Spill kid. Let me see if I can help."

I nodded and started telling him everything about Anna's and my relationship, from the first day we met to the conversation we had just had.

About halfway through my father walked in. I told him how I had helped Anna pick the date for the art gallery, and had talked her through the decision. "Sounds like she really values your input."

I nodded, "I thought so too. We contacted all the different suppliers and picked their best dates. Apparently Anna is a repeat customer with all of them so they were more than willing to do last minute orders. But then she told me more about her childhood." I told them both about the beach, and the argument we had today.

Pops spoke up first, "You really dug yourself a deep one here didn't you?"

I just nodded, "Not helping Pops. How do I fix it?"

"Well Jamie you might need to give her some space."

Pops turned to look at Dad, "Now Francis, how is that supposed to help? Let the poor girl stew about it for a week and worry about meeting us all?"

I turned to look at him, "What do you mean you meeting her in a week? She told me she wouldn't be at Sunday dinner."

Pops chuckled, "Her art gallery included a couple of the local schools in the show. Sean's artwork is in it. The entire family bought tickets remember?"

I groaned; this couldn't get any worse. "No. I forgot about the schools. I hadn't realized St. Bart's was included in that." I opened my phone; no calls or texts. I sent a quick text to Anna telling her I loved her and that I was sorry. Then I groaned again. "That was the first time we each said 'I love you.'". I put my head in my hands and they both laughed. I looked up at them, "Why are you laughing, this isn't good!?"

Pops spoke up, "The first time I told your grandmother was when I was apologizing for ruining her favorite dress."

Dad laughed, "The first time I told your mother that was when I was running late because of the job. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree for us Reagan men. I'm betting if you asked Danny he'd have a similar story with Linda."

I shook my head, "So how do I fix it?"

They both looked at each other, but Dad spoke up first "Grovel. Buy her flowers. Give her chocolate. Anything and everything you can do to convince her you're sorry." He paused, "But in the end all she'll want in sincerity. Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

I nodded and stared into my glass. I knew without looking at my phone that there would be no messages. "Is it okay if I stay here tonight?"

"Of course."

"I think I'm going to go to bed then. Thanks." They both smiled and I walked upstairs to my old bedroom.

Every day I sent her chocolates and flowers. I called her apartment, her phone at the gallery, her cell phone, and even called Martha. Every time Martha realized it was me she hung up on me. I don't know how many texts I had sent to Anna; I was desperate.

On Friday I called Martha again. When she picked up the phone I rushed, "Don't hang up on me I'm a paying customer." I waited and held my breath.

She snorted in fury, "Fine then. Speak."

I let out my breath. "Here me out before you say anything. I need to apologize to Anna before I apologize to you, but she won't talk to me. I've even been over to her place and she won't answer the door."

She harrumphed, "She's not staying there this week. She doesn't want to see you."

"The security guard wouldn't let me in the gallery building so I couldn't see her there. She needs to talk to m-"

"She doesn't need to do anything!" Martha interrupted. "What you need to do is apologize! I warned you about this and you messed up anyway!"

I sighed, "I know. But I need to warn her. My family is coming to the showing tomorrow afternoon. My nephew is one of the kids whose artwork is being shown. It'll be my entire family, not just his parents. I want to apologize to her before then. I don't want to bombard her with everything all at once."

She paused, "Fine. I'm only doing this because it might affect the art showing. As far as I'm concerned, you're still on my list." I gulped. "The showing starts at seven tomorrow night. Show up at four. Bring her dinner, she'll forget to eat. You can help with the finishing touches of everything."

Yes! I had done it! "Thank you so much Martha! I owe you big time! Anything you want, and I'll do it!"

"Slow down there buddy boy. You still have to fix things with her first. Then you owe me. I'm just getting you in the door."

"I know, I know. Thank you thank you, thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah. I've got to go. Everyone is running around with their heads cut off. I've got to organize things."

We said goodbye and hung up. I grabbed my keys and went out the door. I had some shopping to do before tomorrow.

I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I was pacing in the lobby of the gallery. The security guard wouldn't let me past the lobby, but I knew Anna would have to come out eventually. They had removed the spare cot last week to make more room for storage; she wouldn't be able to sleep there tonight. She was too small and fragile to sleep on a hard floor. Anna had gotten used to living in comfort; even her "cot" was a downy feather mattress.

I heard someone come out of the building and looked up. It was Martha. She spotted me and sighed. She shook her head, "You're going to wait here all night, aren't you?" When I nodded she turned to the security guard, "Let him in."

He nodded and opened the door for me to the elevators. "What? I thought it was Anna who wouldn't let me in the building."

Martha shook her head, "No. Anna told me she didn't want to see you, so I told the security guard." I nodded. I really hoped Anna hadn't been expecting me to show up here then. Martha seemed to read my mind, "Every time the guard notified me you were here I asked Anna if she wanted to see you. She just kept saying no."

"Is she there now?" Martha nodded. "Does she know about tomorrow yet?"

She snorted, "No. It would be good to tell her tomorrow. Just let her forgive you tonight." She waved me into the elevator. "Go on Romeo."

I waved back at her. I knew exactly the spot where Anna would be. I went to the room where her grandmother's portrait was being stored. I knocked on the door and entered. I saw her there crying. I looked at her, and paused at the door. I didn't know what to do. I could tell Anna was mad, hurt, and sad all at once. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her, "Tell me what to do. I am so sorry. I'm an idiot. I sent you chocolates and flowers. What do you want? Do you want jewelry? I can't afford much but I'll get you some."

She laughed, "No." She wrapped her arms around me. "I'm still mad at you, but I just want you tonight. We can talk tomorrow."

I pulled back a little and looked down at her. She seemed so small, had she been eating. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, "Yes. I was just thinking how well the showing tomorrow was going to be, and then I happened to glance at the portrait. I'm so exhausted that I just started crying."

I rubbed her back, "Haven't been sleeping lately?" She laughed and shook her head, "Me too."

She pulled me back into a hug. "I'm sorry I'm so stubborn. When I saw you I stopped being mad, and I knew I would. I just wanted to be mad. God, I was so mad at what you said about my cancer."

I winced but thankfully she didn't notice. "I'm sorry. I have a tendency to speak before I think. I've been spending too much time with my brother Danny lately."

"We both got mad. We both said things we didn't mean. Can we just go back to my place and figure it all out?"

I leaned in to kiss her; just a few quick, small kissed. I leaned my forehead against hers, "I would love nothing more than that."


	14. Chapter 13

We drove to my place in his car. I held his hand the entire way. I was still mad at him, but we needed to talk this out. Obviously we both had tempers that got out of control easily. We had been in the car for a few minutes, but both of us were silent. We both didn't want to say something that would hurt the other. I sighed and gave in. A part of this was because I had jumped to conclusions and not listened to him. "I like that you're a cop. You're dedicated." I looked at me and he briefly glanced at me and squeezed my hand. "I would never ask you to quit, even if I wanted you to. Not many people have a passion. It's good to have one."

He looked over to me again, "You have one too. It's art. You love painting. You'd do anything for the art gallery."

I nodded and blushed, "That's what I'm saying. You'd do anything to protect this city. While it scares me, I love it. I couldn't ever ask you to quit." He sighed and I could see some tension leaving his body; he had been really worried about that. I blushed again, and mumbled, "Besides, I feel safer knowing you're out there."

He chuckled and pulled me closer to him. I leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I could feel him kiss the top of my head, "Good. I may not have joined the force to keep you safe, but that is definitely a benefit of it." I closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning alone in bed, with my clothes on. I had made my intentions for last night clear to Jamie but apparently they hadn't happened. I walked into the kitchen and saw him making breakfast. "Morning sleepyhead," he smiled at me.

I yawned, "Why didn't you wake me up when we got back here last night?" I went and gave him a hug from behind, "I appreciate the thought, but I had plans." I smiled into his back.

I felt him stiffen at the thought. He gulped, "Don't remind me." I chuckled, "Well we both mentioned how we haven't been sleeping lately so I thought you needed the sleep. Like I said, I'm in no rush."

I nodded and helped him finish breakfast. After a while I asked, "What are you planning on wearing today?"

He finished chewing, "Black pants and a nice long sleeve shirt. Why?"

"I want to make sure you don't look like one of the people helping or one of the artists. I don't want people bombarding you for information when you don't know anything about the other artists."

"Well thanks, but I have talked to a few of them. I would at least be able to point somebody in the right direction. Um, there's something I should mention about tonight."

I gulped. Not again. "Yeah?"

"My family will be coming tonight. Not because I asked, but because my nephew's artwork will be shown. He attends St. Bart's, the private school you included in the showing."

I nodded, "Oh ok. Well then it'll work out great then. We'll make sure that no one bothers you so you can spend time with your family if you want."

He gave me a weird look, "Well I was planning on seeing them, but I was planning on spending most of the night with you. I can be your arm candy, you know?"

I gave him a big smile at that. That's what I wanted, I just didn't know how to ask it. "Good! Then I want people to know you're my boyfriend. I don't want them thinking I hired you as security or something."

"Oh. Ok. I thought you, well, I don't know what I thought." He set his fork down.

I grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry Jamie. I'm trying. I'm guessing you got a little hurt that I didn't want you to look like one of the artists right?" He nodded, "Well they are all color coordinated to the floors their paintings are on. There are five floors total, and most of the rooms are being used. You know I painted all the floors to be two colors. The bottom is black and purple. The middle of the floor the walls blend as the colors switch. The 4th floor is dark gray and orange. The 3rd light gray and green. The 2nd is yellow and white. The top is white. That's where the kids are. The bottom is black, and each floor gets lighter as it goes up." I squeezed his hand harder, "I want people to know you are with me. I don't want people thinking I am paying you to be there, or that you're hoping to get a commission."

He smiled, "Oh. You want me to be there with you."

I nodded and laughed, "Isn't that what I just said?"

"Well yeah, but now I get it. What color are you wearing? I can match you."

I laughed, "Red to match the flowers. Martha is wearing white because she's corralling all the kids and their parents. Workers are wearing white."

"Well I'm going to need a new shirt then. I don't have red."

I laughed, "We can go shopping on the way to the gallery. The flowers should be arriving now so those have to be organized."

"And let me guess, you want to be there for that?"

I shook my head, "I already told Martha what to do. She'll make sure everyone follows directions better than I can. But just wear jeans or something now. There might be some heavy moving to do with the paintings if they aren't up yet."

He leaned in and gave me a kiss, "Oh, now I see why we're dating. You just want to use me for my muscles."

I squeezed his bicep, "Totally." We both laughed.

We were at the shop where I had bought my dress. I was trying it on to see if there were any last minute alterations. I walked out of the changing room, and Jamie's jaw dropped. He just stared at me. I turned to the three mirrors and tried to see what was wrong. I couldn't, "What? Is there a rip or something?" It was a silk red floor length A-Line gown. There was a slit running up my right leg that ended at my upper thigh. I turned back to Jamie. He had closed his mouth, but still stared.

"You look amazing." He looked me up and down, and walked towards me. He leaned in my ear, "I'm kind of regretting letting you sleep last night."

I could feel the blood rush to my face, "oh" I squeaked. I gulped and cleared my throat, "So it looks good?"

He nodded, "Very good. It's a little long but I'm assuming you're wearing heals?" I shot him a look. How could he tell that? He blushed, "Erin used to make me play dress up when I was little. When she took a Home Ec. class she would also make me her model." He coughed.

I laughed, "That's so cute! Please tell me she has pictures."

He turned even redder, "I hope not. Um but why don't you help me pick out a shirt?"

I nodded and looked to the store owner. I didn't take my dress off; I wanted it nearby to match the exact shade. It might seem picky but I wanted tonight to go perfectly. I wanted to impress Jamie. The owner motioned toward the back, and I pulled Jamie so he would follow me. "I'm thinking you should wear a red shirt with a black tie, or a black shirt with a red tie." I ran my hand along the vests, "ooh, you could wear a black shirt, a black vest, and a red tie. That'd be sleek."

He looked at the price tag, "Geez. Anna, I won't be able to afford this. We might need to go to a different store for my shirt."

I looked back at him and could see he was uncomfortable. "Jamie, let me get it for you. I'm the one who wants you to match; it's not fair to make you pay for it. I paid for any new shirts the artist's needed." His face fell and I could tell that was the wrong thing to say. "Jamie I'm sorry. Let me get this for you as an apology for Monday."

He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, "I don't know Anna."

I could tell he still felt uncomfortable. I knew cops didn't make much, but really it couldn't be this bad? "Please Jamie? It would mean a lot to me."

He sighed, "ok. I guess it isn't that big of a deal."

"Ok now go try it on!" He had picked the black shirt and black vest. I threw a pair of pants at him. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What? It's a matching set."

He shook his head and laughed, "Fine; if you insist."

I sat on the chair by the dressing room. There were only two; it was a good thing we were the only ones in here. He came out a minute later and smiled at me. I looked him up and down. I gulped, "You look great."

He gave me a knowing look and went over to the mirror. "This does look nice!" He turned back to me, "Come stand next to me. I want to see what we both look like."

"Hold on, let me grab the heels. I have them in a box in my dressing room." I disappeared behind the curtain and put them on, "Do you have nice black shoes?" I called out.

Just as I was walking out he replied, "Yeah. Our shoes are required to be shined before we start the day at work, so I was going to wear those." He turned to look at me. "Wow," he breathed. I went to stand next to him in the mirror. When we stood next to each other my head fit just under his chin, but now I was taller. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my neck, "gorgeous."

I looked at us in the mirror; we really were. He had wrapped his arms around me. I grabbed his hands. "Oh Jamie, I forgot to tell you. The girls will be there tonight." He had met them all separately, but had never been with them in group form. His smile dropped, and I laughed. "Sorry!"


End file.
